Night Terrors
by Shirosinthetropics
Summary: Shiro has a nightmare about what happened to him with the Galra, Keith wants to help him, but Shiro is going to have to open up first. (I suck at summaries but I swear its not terrible)


"No stop!" Shiro yells and thrashes in his sleep, awakening Keith.

"Please don't hurt me, please!" his body is fighting an invisible force, and his thrashing is endangering Keith.

Keith scurries off the bed, knowing from experience that touching him only makes the terrors feel more real.

"I don't want to…" he sounds so defeated, the sound always makes Keith's stomach do flips, Shiro puts on such a strong front, seeing him like this is always a shock to Keith's system, even if it happens nearly every night. They usually aren't this bad, this is worse. Nights like these are the only times Keith gets a glimpse of what actually happened to Shiro, each time uncovering a new piece to the puzzle that is Shiro's imprisonment. He knew the basics before this, that he was experimented on and forced to fight like a gladiator, but he didn't know about the extent of the torture, no one does besides him and Shiro. Shiro has made damn sure no one knows how broken he actually is, that no one ever finds out what happened. He thinks Keith is oblivious to the extent of what happened, and while Keith has hinted at him maybe talking to someone, Shiro refuses, as if Keith isn't there every time he has a night terror, as if he hasn't seen the psychological damage inflicted upon him.

He's panting now, crying and mumbling for whoever is attacking his subconscious tonight to get off of him. Keith is crying also, he hasn't had one this bad in a while, and when he cries so does Keith. He hasn't had one about this specific moment in a long time, Keith was hoping they had stopped. These always get to him the worst, it will be days before anyone can even touch him after they happen, and he's always so jumpy. It's understandable, but it still saddens Keith to see him like that.

He's just whimpering now so Keith decides it would be a good time to try and wake him up. He sits on the edge of the bed and runs his hand through his hair, getting a slight flinch but otherwise calm reaction. "Shiro, babe, it's me, Keith, you're okay." He tries to keep his voice as even as possible despite his own tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Honey you're safe, no one is hurting you, it's just me" He begins to stir and calm down, slowly opening his teary eyes to see Keith sitting over him running his hands through his hair and whispering comforts to him.

"I thought they were gone" He sobs.

All Keith can muster is small "I know"'s and "It's gonna be alright"'s.

"It was worse this time, he, he was there and, it was so real Keith, it felt, it felt so real" Shiro clutches Keith's shirt as he calms himself down.

He has no idea who "he" is, all he knows is that when Shiro gets out of his terrors he always speaks of a vague person only referred to as "he", and if it's brought up afterwards, Shiro acts like it didn't happen.

"He isn't here, you're safe" Keith says

Shiro wants to believe Keith, but he can't. He can't believe that he's ever safe no matter what the situation. He feels irreparably damaged and honestly, he doesn't think he deserves to be fixed. He feels worthless. And Keith can't understand that, he can't understand how disgusting he is, how defiled and used he is. He betrayed Keith, he had sex with someone else. He's used and serves no purpose to Keith, all he does is keep him up at night.

_Shiros POV_

I have to shake those thoughts out of my head, they have been stronger since the last time I was captured. I feel like i betrayed him, and I know that if I tell him what happened it will hurt him. Maybe I deserve it, maybe I deserve all this, I killed a lot of people during my time with the galra, maybe what they did to me was well deserved.

"Keith, I think I need to tell you something…"

"Anything my love" no turning back now, I have to tell him, I need to tell him. He so pure and soft and kind, I shouldn't corrupt him with this, but, I need to tell someone and… god it's so selfish of me, but I can't keep living like this and he's the only person in this world I trust to not judge me.

"When I was with the galra, I, they…" I tighten my hold on his shirt, thinking about it makes my brain hurt. "I was used…" I sit up, maybe that will help my head during this. "I was used for… pleasure, when I disobeyed they would, punish me and use me, tell me it was all I was good for and until I learned I would be there being… used."

I advert eye contact, I can't look at the pain on his face.

"I suspected that"

I look at him confused.

"You talk in your sleep." He says blankly, and I look down embarrassed. "Maybe talking about it might help?"

I just nod, i mean, I've tried keeping it in and that has only made it worse, I need something to make these dreams and thoughts go away.

"They would take me to this room, when I did anything wrong, no matter how small, and they would make me stay there for, elongated periods of time, they would lock me in a room and let people in, one by one and they would-" I choked on my words and Keith started rubbing my arm.

"Hey it's okay, you don't have to keep going, i don't want to push you to talk about this"

I shake my head, I need to do this, maybe then I can stop thinking about it, maybe he can help me.

I clear my throat and continue. "They would, do as they please, that would go on for a few days sometimes, sometimes it went on for weeks, but one day this galra came in there and I guess he particularly enjoyed me because he started coming in every day." I cringe thinking of him and have to stop, Keith just stares at me with pity.

"He wasn't like the other people, he, he was sadistic Keith, he would cut me and whip me and laugh while i screamed, god, his laugh still plays in my mind on repeat, he, he told me he loved me and that I was his prize, I was so scared of him Keith, I wouldn't wish that fear on my worst enemy, it was terrible." I couldn't look at him, I already knew what his face was going to look like, and I couldn't bare to see it with my own eyes.

"It went on for months, He would come in every day and do as he pleased, he would do whatever he could to make me scream, god, he said my screams were his favorite noise, who fucking says that?" I look up at the ceiling, choking back my tears, trying to be strong. "One day he came in and I was being particularly stubborn, I was at my breaking point, I was ready to die, I wanted him to kill me so it could all be over, the experiments, the fighting, just, all of it. I wanted to be free, so I wasn't doing what he asked, I wasn't kneeling or obeying or doing anything I knew made him happy, and he decided that if I wasn't going to pleasure him he was going to, at the very least, hear me scream, but I wasn't "responding" I guess and he said he was going to do something that would make me scream louder then I thought I could, so he pulled out a scalpel and, and..." I raise my arm to show him what he did, not having the strength to say it out loud.

"Oh god, Shiro" He looks at me, mouth gawped and eyes widened, this is why i didn't want to tell him, because I didn't want him to feel upset for me.

3rd Person POV:

"There's… more" Shiro pauses as he begins to cry for the second time that night.

"Last time I was captured they, Zargon had known of my previous punishments, and my um… fuck" He looks up at the ceiling, trying to find the right words, trying to make this sound less disgusting, because that's what it is, disgusting.

"I, I… the galra they, they usually don't do that to people, its not a common punishment, it was uh… it was just me that happened to." He stops, having trouble finding the will to fight off the voices in his head and continue.

"Keith I was, i was broken and they, that's what they wanted, I swear I didn't want them, I swear, I swear, I love you please forgive me please" He was crying now, petrified at the prospect of losing Keith due to this. Terrified Keith would call him a whore and walk out forever.

"Shiro, Shiro you didn't do anything wrong, they hurt you, please, it's okay I promise I still love you" Keith was wiping the tears from his eyes.

"I'm not good enough, I'm broken and worthless and god, i came Keith, they, when I was with Zargon he, he made me, fuck. They were right about me, everything they said, they were right, I let them take that from me, I, I'm so sorry I'm so so sorry please." Keith really doesn't think differently of him, but he can't make Shiro understand that, all he can do is repeat the same words over and over and hope that eventually he will understand.

"I swear you didn't do anything wrong, you, Shiro you were raped and that isn't your fault, please, please understand that, understand that you did nothing wrong, and that none of this changed who you are as a person, i swear, okay?" It was mostly rambling but it seemed to pull Shiro out of his distress enough for him to look Keith in the eyes.

"I feel like you deserve better than me…" Shiro says, and the look on Keith's face is pure horror.

"Shiro, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me, I swear, I don't care what your past holds, the Shiro I'm looking at right now, he is the best person I've ever met, and I need you to understand that."

Shiro replies with a subtle nod, but it's more than Keith had expected, and it makes him happy.

Keith sits there, watching the love of his life pull himself back together after the breakdown he'd just experienced. Shiro really is the best thing that's ever happened to Keith, and he really wishes he knew that, but he also knows it's going to take a long time for Shiro to realize it, but goddamnit Keith will make him realize it, even if it kills him.

"It's really late, how about we lay back down?" Keith asks Shiro, trying his hardest not to sound like he's talking to a wounded puppy, because even if Shiro was crying, he's still the strongest person Keith has ever met.

Shiro nods and they lay back down, curling up into each other, with Shiro holding tightly onto Keith. The drudging up of old memories making Shiro on edge about what his dreams might hold, but knowing Keith is there makes it 100% better. He finally thinks that maybe, just maybe, he can trust someone, even if it's just one person.


End file.
